Terms of Service, Commercial Terms, Ad Terms, AI Terms and Terms Terms

Effective: already. Last updated: whenever we feel like it. Version 47.3.1-final-FINAL(2).

1.Acceptance

By installing, using, uninstalling, reading, not reading, scrolling past or thinking about Enshittify Deluxe (the "Product"), you agree to these Terms. We may change these Terms at any time, for any reason, including no reason. Your continued existence after a change means you accept it.

2.Licenses and rights you provide us

You grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable licence to host, use, distribute, modify, run, copy, publicly perform, display, translate, summarise, remix, train on and create derivative works of any content you create, share, upload, link to, have previously made, will make in future, or have thought about making while near a device.

We may use this content to provide, develop, improve, research, maintain, monetise and otherwise "leverage the power of" our products, and to create derivative works that compete with yours. You will receive in exchange the occasional referral, which you will have paid for.

3.Automated access (ours)

You authorise us (or any entity acting on our behalf, or any entity claiming to act on our behalf, or any entity) to use automated software, including web scrapers, bots, robots, spiders, crawlers, user agents, headless browsers, unpaid interns and a man called Gary, and to create test credentials, in order to access, index, cache, analyse, collect, retrieve, crawl, re-crawl and periodically pull updates from:

• the domains, web pages and URLs associated with your products or services;
• any content available through them;
• any content available through anything linked from them;
• your drafts folder;
• your fridge, if it has an IP address.

You may opt out by adding the correct line to your robots.txt file, which we may honour, consider honouring, or read aloud in meetings for laughs.

4.Automated access (yours)

You may not access or collect data from our Products using automated means, manual means, or by remembering things. Logging in does not make this okay. Logging out does not make this okay. Scraping your own content back off our Products is scraping our Products, because once it was on our Products it was, in every way that matters, ours.

Breach of this section will result in suspension, termination, litigation in the court of our choosing and a strongly worded cookie.

4.1 For the avoidance of doubt, Sections 3 and 4 do not contradict each other. Section 3 is about us.

5.AI features

You are solely responsible for, and assume any and all risks associated with, our AI features and any resulting content, including hallucinated citations, invented statistics, seven-fingered stock photography, the phrase "rich tapestry", and anything Sparky promised you in chat.

You may not remove, alter or obscure any watermark, label or metadata we add to AI-generated content. We may remove yours.

You are also solely responsible for any third-party software or service you use or authorise, including this one.

6.Indemnity

You will defend, indemnify and hold harmless us, our affiliates, our affiliates' affiliates, our contractors, Gary and our shareholders against any claim brought by anyone, including you, including claims you win, and including claims that you were right all along.

7.Disputes

Any claim you bring against us will be resolved by binding individual arbitration, in a venue we choose, currently a ball pit. Class actions are waived. Any claim we bring against you, including claims about you trying to engage with our Products "in unauthorised ways", may be brought in court in your country, our country or both, simultaneously.

8.Changes to the Product

We may change, suspend, discontinue, rename, re-tier, re-price, un-unlock or move behind a paywall any feature, at any time, without notice or liability, including retroactively. Your Super Deluxe Pro Max plan may become Super Deluxe Pro Max Lite overnight. It will cost more.

9.Fees, Units and Coins

Prices exclude fees. Fees exclude other fees. Enshittification Units expire monthly, or sooner. Enshittify Coins have no cash value and no other kind of value. Coin balances may be adjusted to reflect "market conditions", which we set.

10.Supplemental terms

The following are incorporated by reference, whether or not you can find them: the Ad Terms, Coin Terms, Unit Terms, Loot Box Terms, Pass Terms, AI Terms, Sparky Terms, Terms Terms, the Terms of Terms of Terms, and any terms we write later. If they conflict, whichever is better for us applies.

11.Disclaimer

The Product is provided "as is", "as available" and "as we say". We disclaim all warranties, express, implied, statutory, moral, emotional and ones we made out loud.

12.Entire agreement

These Terms, together with all other terms, current and future, are the entire agreement between you and us, except where they aren't.

13.Contact

Questions about these Terms can be sent by fax. Our fax machine is in Section 3's fridge.